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Kelly Beale Bennett: Stoughton, Wisconsin

This woman is one of the worst people I have ever met. After she resurfaced in my life telling me about her need for freedom and suicidal thoughts, I gave her another chance. More than 10 years earlier I dropped her from my life for being a s****y human being. I figured time had passed and maybe she was had outgrown her ways. She manipulated me into her life so that her and her husband could use me as a scapegoat for her crack-cocaine addiction. Once they were confronted, they used every tactic possible to cover their a***s.

The first time she reached back out, I met her out and she started telling me that she is suicidal, her husband is verbally abusive, and she really needs to get high to feel better. She wanted my support. She had quietly been facebook friends with me for years- reading my posts about Breaking the Silence of abuse, advocating for and actively involved in suicide prevention, and with a strong network of survivors of both abuse and suicide. I was in a Yoga teacher certification program and had no desire to get high. She then wanted me to take her from Madison, Wisconsin where we were at, to Chicago find a man for her. We took a selfie and she wanted me to post it and tag her in it, “Make sure you put ‘besties’ on it.” She gets drugs, pressures me into using with her, (“please, just this one night. Let’s have fun. I need freedom. Just once. No, no, I’m responsible too. No, no, I don’t want to do this with my life either) and I tell her I am calling my husband so that she can come over and “be supported.”

After this, she kept reaching out, wanting me to go get high with her. I told her repeatedly that I cannot be her drug buddy.

She invited me over to her house for dinner and drinks and to “just hang out. No, no getting high or anything like that.” I tell her that if I drink I cannot drive, and she tells me they have a guest room, no worries. I meet her husband for the first time, and he’s cooking and talking. I share about something I think may be going on with someone, and she makes this suspicious face, looks down and back up, and asks me, “Is he marrieeEED?” She raised her inflection at the end like this was some kind of protocol question to ask me because this is to be expected. I tell her I don’t know, nothing is going on, I don’t know anything. Her husband comes back in the kitchen, something else is said, and he looks at me and says, “Values,” then they both look at each other, and just stare. Right in front of me. No, I do not have a history of dating married men, as she was clearly trying to imply. What is more relevant here is that this was the beginning of what those of us “in the know” come to learn as the smear campaign. It starts with little seeds like this, little things to misrepresent you to other people. Eventually, so many seeds are planted over such a period of time, that nobody will believe you by the time you catch on to the fact that this person has been sabotaging you since Day ONE.

I blew it off, I have a thick skin. When I reiterate to her a following day that her husband was a gentlemen for cooking and that the food was amazing, she says, “I could tell you appreciated it.”

The next several months she repeatedly reached out to get me to meet her out and get drugs with her. On Valentines Day 2016, she was texting me to meet her out with her husband when they had a hotel. I declined.

Things really didn’t get crazy until she insists I meet her out for dinner with her husband and their guest, his best friend, Eyal. She and I had had plans to go out to eat with just the two of us, which I asked her about. I tell my husband I’m going out to eat, and my husband lost his mind- we were separated but still had a joint checking account- and I told her I couldn’t go. She layed it on. Insisting, insisting, and more insisting. I never should have gone. I threw some half-assed clothes on with my husband eye balling and reminding me he’ll the close the account as soon as I see someone- and got out of the house.

I get to the house, meet Eyal and we have a connection right away. We go out to eat, Kelly’s husband is periodically glaring at me over dinner, and Kelly and I go to the bathroom where she encourages this, “They say people who are soulmates look alike.” We leave dinner and go to a bar. While there Kelly is loudly talking to me like she’s helping me through something because I though we were lost on the way to the bar. Then she’s texting me to leave with her and take her to go buy some coke and take her to my apartments so she can cook it into crack. Eyal and I shared a nice hug and I had no intentions of leaving.

The next day or two she’s yelling at me in front of them, which I talked to her about in private after the fact (I’m so sorry, I snap sometimes, it’s something I’m working on), insulting my legs (“ugh, I could never be that skinny…. I only said that because you’re hot and I’m self-conscious of my weight, I’m sorry), and then asking to come to my apartment. Eyal was there a few days. In that time, her husband invites me over, she tells me to bring my tote because we are going to be drinking, and the next morning she’s asking when I plan on leaving. Eyal invites me over, I get there and ask Kelly if she wants to go to the liquor store. On the way I compliment her on her lipstick, which is the same bright pink I am known for wearing, and she’s p****d that her husband wanted her to get that exact shade. When I am back at home she’s texting me what is going on with Eyal and me, and having her husband go up to their guest room to ask him. Eyal texts me how was my morning. I tell him I was in a weird state and had a weird dream. He says he’s taking Kelly’s son to a movie.

After he leaves back to Atlanta, Kelly comes over telling me he likes cold and demeaning women (he doesn’t), she says she “found out” he wants to keep in touch with me. He’s looking for someone, she says. She thinks this could be special for me. She thinks I deserve this. She has her a*s so far involved it’s not even funny. Eyal tells me he tries to date and it never works. He tells me he wants me to visit him in Atlanta. At one point, over the phone, I tell him he wants something casual. He responds, “I don’t want something casual.” Kelly comes over and there’s big news. Eyal told Michael (husband) who told Kelly that I HAD A DREAM. I’m perplexed. Eyal was upset. He didn’t know if he could take it. It was all too much for him. Me, this dream. OH GAWWWWD. I tell Kelly, “um…. LOL… I don’t know what the h**l he is talking about. I told him I just woke up, was in a weird state, had a weird dream, and he said he’s going to a movie. Here are the messages.” I show her to show her that there was literally nothing. She tells me it. was. BIG. I ask Eyal about it and what is the big deal. He responds, “Well, I have dreams too but I don’t use them to base my reality on.” I’m still confused as to why he thought that at all.

Kelly then gets so jealous of Eyal and I (well, of me), that she stages a dramatic, attention-grabbing scene in which she calls me screaming that she is on the side of the road, high on crack, on her way to a hotel, she can’t stop using crack, and “I”M A DRUG ADDICT AND I WANNA KILL MYSELF!” Her husband blows up my phone despite me saying she isn’t with me. She blows up my phone telling me she’s going to a hotel and not to tell her husband anything. I spend hours, while I’m trying to spend time with my daughter, trying to get this woman to calm the f**k down and go home. I told her I was there for her, had her back, and would try to help her. And Eyal? Oh, well, the husband calls Eyal planting the seed that perhaps I am the reason Kelly is a crack-addict. He also called one of his colleagues and g*d knows who else. He already knew she was using and she already used one of his colleague’s apartments for cooking her crack. Kelly tells me she had to “convince him” that I was “safe for her.” He was sooo worried I might be a bad influence on her, which is as equally laughable as it is false. He tells all of this to Eyal. Eyal doesn’t say s**t to me, but his head is buried in his buddies a*s and he follows his orders. The husband here was smearing me and manipulating opinions of me, and demanding it be kept a secret from me. Then Kelly actually tells me that Eyal already knows, and that I could tell Eyal that I would support him if he needs to talk about Kelly and how her crack addiction was affecting him and making him feel.

I tell Eyal I’m trying to help her, and that I know he already knows. He wants to know how it got started, where did the Cocaine come from, etc. This all happened within one week of Eyal going back home. I go to her house to support her, and she tells me Eyal wants anything he says about me to be kept secret from me. I tell her he asked about the coke and how it got started. She practically c**s in her pants telling me he is using me…. using me to get information about her. She felt so special, she couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face.

When I get out of the hospital five days later, Eyal is insisting he was not using me. He feels we had a great connection. Kelly insists that my comment that she never called or visited while I was there was a mere misunderstanding. She had said to call her if I needed anything and, since I didn’t call her to ask for anything, she figured why call me or visit. And, most importantly, she wanted me to not forget, “what this friendship means to her.” According to her, I was confused.

She came over more and more to do drugs. Yes, after her whole OH G*d I’m a drug addict somebody save me spectacle. She actually smiled about it and said, “Me and my big mouth.” She had no intentions or desire to quit using, she just needed to stage a scene to manipulate everyone’s time and emotions.

This was disorder of the highest order, and these people were starving for more.

The remainder of the summer I saw more and more crazy from these three.

She was taking the most banal things I would say and twist them up, repeat them to her husband, who repeated them to Eyal, who kept it to himself and judged me quietly like a good boy. One example is I told her my daughter was screaming at me not to tell her to brush her teeth, not to tell her to go to bed, not compare her to Kelly’s son. Why did she say this? We were cooking, I tell her I picked Thyme with Kelly’s son, this is how we did it, there, see isn’t it fun? She screams, “Quit comparing me!” I tell Kelly about it, tell her I was trying to get her excited to pick the Thyme. The whole context of this and the point in sharing was that she wasn’t being compared, she was being difficult and argumentative. The next time I bring my daughter to her house, I’m talking to her son, he says something about him arguing, and I smile like I’m surprised, and kid-friendly say, “no, you don’t argue.” Her husband snaps his head towards me and screams, “DON’T!” It startled me. I ask Kelly later if she misrepresented how I shared with her what my daughter said. She just smiles and looks down. Another seed.

Another day she had insisted on me coming over, which she did a lot after partying, she was sleeping and I didn’t have my car. I walk to the gas station and get lost on my way back. She comes to pick me up. I’m laughing, wow what a dork huh? We get back to her house, I’m still laughing, I get lost everywhere, now look at this blister. She says, in front of her husband, “You were like, ‘Mother f*****s make me walk.'” Her husband snaps his head towards me in shock and offense, I just sat there, smile frozen, in shock. I didn’t even know what to say. We get in the car when she takes me home and I ask her about it, telling her I thought it was funny, no big deal, I said nothing of the sort, why did she say that? She says she just felt bad was all. Another seed.

This all happened over one summer and the month of September. Eyal gives bullshit reasons for blindsiding me that we were “just s*x,” when this little threesome knew I thought that it was clear we were more than that. But wait, that’s not what he said. It is what he said but he didn’t mean it to mean the thing that it might have meant if it had meant something other than what it meant before it had the first meaning followed by the other meaning which wasn’t the meaning I thought it was except that it was because he never said that even though he did but nuh uh he didn’t and now aren’t you just confused?

One of the reasons he gave, before accidentally texting me a text meant for his MOM “what should I tell her,” was that I thought we were all going to live together. Like, the four of us. Like, I was delusional- as in really delusional thinking we were a big love nest. This is great. Kelly tried more than once to get me to move in. I declined. I did not want to live with her and her husband and their mutual disorder. I have my own apartment. One night, while partying, she’s encouraging this talk of living near or with each other or something. I made the g*d-awful mistake of saying something like, “yeah, and if we were all making a lot think how big our house could be.” Of course, she runs this to her husband, who, of course, runs it to Eyal, who, of course, says, “Oh my G*d she must be CRAZY.” She even came to me to report that her husband said yes, yes we could all live together. I didn’t even know what to say. I changed the subject and never brought it up again. Another seed.

The insults about my clothes and shoes. I don’t even know where to begin. I dressed down going to her house because she was convinced her husband was obsessed with me. After the lipstick thing, I felt bad for her and made it clear to her I was dressing down. I filed for divorce during this summer, my husband moved out and my daughter was at her peak sass level, and I was spending a lot of my time in my pajamas. It’s not like these are well-dressed people who were fashion shocked to find out I don’t lay on my couch in La Perla.

But, wait, she wants to be with Eyal and her husband likes my lipstick! Don’t I think that we should all switch? UM NO.

I told her repeatedly that the boundary issues were not acceptable, that the drugs were not acceptable, the drama was over the top, and I don’t need this s**t in my life. Every time it was some grand explanation: this friendship means soo much to her, she’ll talk to her husband, she’s sorry, it won’t happen again, she values me, I’m her closest friend.

She had the audacity to cross her arm and glare at me after Eyal blindsided me and say, “You used your sexual power and he still said no.” I stopped in mid-step and my jaw dropped. It went over her head that s*x and emotions are linked for some people. It obviously went over Eyal’s head as well (or not). This was shortly before I pulled away from this woman completely. Her explanation? “I didn’t mean it. I’m just intimidated that you’re so sexually free. I just wish I could be like that is all.”

I put my foot down for the final time in October 2016. I go to her house to babysit, which I offered because she and her husband had no friends, and while there I tell her my boss doesn’t have the monthly schedule out yet, and the month has already started. She walks right up to her husband, in front of me, looks deep into his eyes, and says, “They told her the monthly schedule isn’t out yet.” Then they just stared at each other. Knowingly, like there was more to it. Then her husband looks at me, and he stares. Silence. I wasn’t fired or denied the schedule. It was literally just f*****g late, and it was a small, non-profit peer support center where most everyone had a set schedule anyways. But Kelly is never one to miss an opportunity for drama and gossip. Another seed. She made every desperate attempt possible to turn it around on me and guilt trip me for putting my foot down. The messages between us read as someone healthy and sane laying down a boundary to someone who is a deeply sick person (my lawyer read everything… everything). Each time I repeated the sentence, “Kelly, this is about a boundary. Your comments towards me and about me are not acceptable.” Her responses go on for hours: “What about me?! What about my feelings?! You’re just picking on me! You’re hurting me. This hurts. Oh, g*d, I’m having a panic attack. I would never do this to you.” It was crazy, childish, toxic, and I blocked her- and that was it.

Her and her husband later concocted a story that she was threatened by me. That I had hurt her. They were full of s**t and covering their a***s. This was a flat out lie.

Three and a half months later, my mother committed suicide. Kelly had been stalking my page. Which she told me she did to feel closer to me. Likely not the real reason, but whatever. She reaches out seeing my post asking for prayers and positive thoughts, followed by hundreds of comments of my family blaming me and my friends defending me. She comes over to “be there.” Guess what? She wants to get drugs. She tells me her husband didn’t want to her come see me. She said he wanted to “protect her from getting hurt again.” I tell her this is bullshit. After drugs, she insists I go to her house. We get there, husband stares right at my shoes (reports for Eyal?). He announces what time he will be back home. She says I need to be gone before then. I ask if Eyal knows what happened, seeing how she reached out and had this dramatic talk with her husband about it and she texts him if he had told Eyal. “Yes, so he would know what was going on.” She looked up and her face went stone. These people turned my mother’s suicide into even more drama for themselves- about themselves. Creating a scene- about themselves. I have never been so disgusted with anyone as I was with her and her husband in that moment. After this, I offered her an opportunity to meet me out to eat and be honest. She declined. Drugs weren’t going to be there, and she had no intention of fessing up.

About six weeks later a friend of mine reaches out to the husband, telling him that their three-way bullshit wasn’t cool, and was prepared to alert him that Kelly was endangering their baby with her drugs. She had not only taken the baby an hour away to get drugs, but left him alone in the car while going in to get her stash, and most likely used while inside- she could never wait. She had done other things, and I had talked to her about it. I told her I would support her through treatment. I told her she was flushing her life and her nursing future down the toilet. The husband doesn’t care. The husband responds maniacally to my friend, then emails me- accusing me of stalking and threatening me with restraining orders. In light of the reality, the arrogance it took to even make that threat is notable.

When I respond to his threats by telling him the truth, Kelly responds in his email account, “I thought you were loyal! Karma is going to be bad to you!” They then concocted a story that they had just tried to be my only friends, but it was too hard. If this wasn’t all so dysfunctional and real, it would be comical. Eyal then reaches out, asking me questions to give the answers to the husband. He actually went along with their little plan. I was laying here grief-stricken after my mother and family, and he comes to me with their collective, agreed upon excuse. “I tried to be your friend, but it was too difficult.” Neither Eyal, nor Kelly were ever friends to me. They used me for their own gluttonous needs, and spit out the bones when they had their fill.

These are deeply disturbed, abusive people. They will formulate drama and chaos from thin air, and put you in the middle of it, and then throw you under the bus to cover their own a***s. I tolerated the amount that I did here, because I was truly trying to help this woman, and I truly had fallen for the friend. I know now that she never needed help (not the kind I could offer), and that I fell for someone based on lies and manipulation. Who I thought he was and who he really is are two different people. Finding out how shallow Eyal really is, and that he not only is independently s****y, but that he both allowed and collaborated with these two in all this, and actually seeing it through an objective lens- I am embarrassed I even gave someone like him a chance.

I gave all this to my lawyer, and he read thousands and thousands of messages. We had some good, long talks, and he gave me a lot of objective perspective on the three of them, and what he saw in this situation.

There is no limit to what any of these three people will say to you or about you. You cannot even predict what or when it could be. They lie pathologically, and deny everything. When my friend told Eyal what he did was s****y, Eyal denied even knowing anyone by my name. They took advantage of me when I was down, knowing that I was vulnerable and using this. They are each individually arrogant and lacking in empathy- collectively they are worse. Kelly used me for a place to get high and a scapegoat. She lied, manipulated, and triangulated. She engaged every manipulation tactic in the book practically to the letter. She was derogatory and predatory. She smeared me. She admitted sabotaging what I had going on with Eyal because she wanted to be with him herself. Eyal said, “So what. People can fantasize about people.” Her husband doesn’t care. Her husband smeared me. Eyal knew this all along, mindfully keeping it to himself, stringing me along for s*x, manipulating me and pretending to be docile, pretending to be on the same page as me. Degrading me. Making up reasons to join the smear session behind my back. My clothes, my shoes, I complimented him, I had a dream, I called to say goodnight too late- using his Mom and the husband for instructions on what to say to me. Silently evaluating the trend-level and expense of my attire. I remember sending him a photo of me at an astrology-themed event. I almost laughed after all was said and done, here I’m texting this photo of me in my vintage top with my (gasp) 7 year old metallic silver Stuart Weitzman sandals, and I’m matching the event and decor, and sending him a photo to be sweet and fun, and this a*****e was superficially evaluating me like a douchebag, and then asking for more photos. At the end, they believed that their abusive insanity should be kept a secret, because it’s “private.” These are allegedly professional people in their late thirties and forties. Eyal is posted here as well (Eyal Tamir: Umass Amherst, Tel Aviv Israel, Atlanta GA)

I woke up after Eyal and I had been intimate to him violently humping the bed looking at his phone. I didn’t even know what to do or to say. I honestly blocked it out until later, because it reminded me of my father. Let the three of them have each other, and keep a safe (far) distance.

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